Wednesday, December 12, 2012


it's already 12 december 2012, 121212
people said there would be something happened on this date
they even said today is the end of day

while this blog written on 17: 14 PM West Indonesia Time
there's nothing happened today, at least along the day, but 12 December would be end in about 7,5 hours ahead and nobody knows what's going to happen in next minutes or hours

I dont want to be concerned on the end of day thinking
but, moreover about the end of year, the end of 2012
what have been achieved or left

am, a person with plans
I expected many things I've been doing until today by imagining all those activities and achievements long time ago, perhaps since I've been teenager
am where I've been expected to be, 5 years ago...
some points left, some opportunities left, and here I'am now

Actually, I supposed to be abroad, this year
or at least toward my achievement for living abroad
but, many things happened, shit and challenge happened
at least I should be thankfull, I now could contribute my best to surrounding people, esp. my family

I should be thankfull
I shouldh push my self harder than before to get what I've been wanted

Friday, December 07, 2012 reading [book]

I already watched Life of Pi last week
and happy that it was close to my imagination
I was remember, I was read this book years ago
a bestfriend lended me this book

Fallin in love with Yann Martel's
now, I start to read Beatrice and Virgil, one of Yann Martel's as well
actually this book was my birthday present from K in 2010
there still his words written inside the book, while look at it, that's funny
K is my ex, he liked to always make me smile by giving me many presents and surprises
Beatrice and Virgil was one of it
I remembered how I requested this book as my birthday present, and he send this from Bali to Jakarta
anyway, thank you, K...and appreciate your effort, hehe

I like phylosophy, and I though Yann Martel's told a lot about spiritual and faith and phylosophy
I was remember how Piscine Patell-a major figure in Life of Pi is a uniq person with many kind of thaoughts, he learned all religion from Hindu-his former faith, Christian and Islam..

I also like Pi
I've been liking to learn many religion, from Islam, Hindu and Budha...
that's such a great experience seeing and feeling anything they doing for their religion

I recommend you to watch the movie and read these both books

Happy Reading :)

...friends heal

For me, a person who doesn't have parents anymore
friends existence is such an important and precious things
while its a big prob came
they heal...:)

These are my bestiest above
among 2 doctors and 1 students (he already graduated anyway, hehe..)
and the pregnant woman

friends are one of precious things in my life
they made me laugh...and smile...encourage me to stay strong
thanks to God
who meet me with those beautiful and uniq personality

*dear God, thanks for making me better lastnight
Cheers you agree that differences is suchkind of uniq things ?

We have 5 kind of fingers
sometime our face didnt have simetrical form
people are different, there were white skin-black skin-even tan and yellow...
there are pork and spoon which compliment each other
there are shoes and socks

every single things in this universe has its own uniq
thanks to God who create all this artsy things started from the creatures, the landscape and all the dynamics of it.
Include human...
we've been created with uniq
skin, color and racial, etnicity, culture...

I couldnt understand how people treat each other through extreme way just because of this kind of differences
Civil War happened here and there

Hhhh...tired of hearing all those issues
include simple things called discrimination in chosing a life partner
I love uniqness and differences
I've been dating many guys from different racial and etnicity
chinese, balinese, bataknese, javanese
I've  never been discriminate them

Differences are something that we used to appreciate
But it shouldn't be a big prob that fortify each other
Differences compliment each other, and add the uniq of his creatures
as long as we have goodwill, I dont think differences would trigger bigger problems

I love differences, I have so many experiences on how differences could trigger a bigger problem, am sick of people talking about differences, especially discrimination
and I wished I could do something to contribute about this issues
no matter how big or small it is,
once we have goodwill, hopefully universe conspires us to achieve this good things


Friday, November 23, 2012 stuff

Fallin deeper in love with make up kit and finally bought some new stuff yesterday
I really match with Revlon products, it's cheap and light and perfect...

I before use Revlon Afterglow loose powder and now
tr Revlon Aqua Mineral Powder which has glowing effect and glittery for your skin...
then obsessed with more lipstick, I now applied Reddish Revlon Colorstay Liquid Lipstik occationally

Previous product I've been applied, natural and light :)

 colorstay Aqua Mineral Powder, light and bring a glowing effect for your skin, but ok for daily use
Looooove this moist liquid lipstik

Been so long, want to applied reddish one...then here it is...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

...being rejected is hurt

...negative comment without reasonable based

argh..I hate that and it hurts...
why people are so serious about this kind of differences
It's  a sin of being me in my racial/etnicity, now
who asked to born in anykind of specific etnicity

Dear, God...
I've been depending on you
he is your son, so do I, and them...
I couldn't avoid to curse everysingle person who arguing the difference

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

...Adju's Wedding

Happy for you both, Pak adju...
then wore this (actually) not a skirt..but I made it as a skirt
love the blue pink lace... things...

am, currently crushing on beauty tips such as skin care fashion and beauty make up..
I though I need to make up my self and try something new..
here below new stuff on the shelf..hehe
I tried to applied concealer and lipstick..

and waiting for new branded coral bronzer, hehe


wet shine Maybelline

Very Me Chicklit Concealer by Oriflame

Tuesday, October 09, 2012 education took important Role in build the character..

Currently, I've got so many problems with complains and protest from people around...
not targetted to me, but the company
somehow I've been sure I understand their thoughs and demand to us
but on the other hand, I saw so many uneducated people have been submitting protest without any root cause or reasonable things behind

I dealing with more people with education below the the bar line
and it's sometime make me angry inside, just because they dont get any points delivered to them
I have to admit, that people here speak without any reasonable facts
they often speake with emotions and unlogic

talking about government regulations or scientific reason to them, sometimes is a hard...hard things!
It's like we put effort to the maximum based on real fact and formal regulations, but they face us with angry...grrrr

I saw, people with low education is hard to accept the fairness..
difficult to compete fairly
and end up with demand
yep, demand and complaint and demand and complaint...and demand..again and again...

no wonder, complaint is Indonesian middle name

am sick of these probs...

Tuesday, October 02, 2012 I don't want to rely on you, you, and you...

nothing last forever...
there will be somebody or people who always available for us, but otherwise they would be gone overtime

I've been there, done that, while I had started to rely on someboy or many people around, but felt so fool knowing they have their own business thus finally leaving. It's all natural, I knew...
We're all would end up alone, so why dont we start to think that we must be independent in every single thing we've done, dependent to other people would just make us wait, and it's sucks!

Since a long time ago, I begin to rely on my self, on how to know and solve the problems. in every single thing I do...
I've been a solitaire sometime  by solve anything by myself

Allah blessed me :)

Monday, September 24, 2012

...Baked Macaroni, order please email...:)


this's funny, how I love cooking, now
Feels, I dont even know kind of spice and so on...
now, I've been cooking almost every weekend

this's my new thing
Baked Macaroni, made by order
and msg free...without any preserfatives
Baked Macaroni actually found at Bogor, West Java, Indonesia
some people say, its ttaste is plain...
now, Baked Macaroni offered from Bandung

pls see simple ad below...
order, dont forget to email me

Thank you,

Sunday, September 23, 2012

...white and green outfit

went to karinaintan's wedding and put those green outfit matched with plain blouse and nude-chunky heels..
inspired by Korean traditional costume

btw, I love those Antyk Butik necklace
green rope with black acrylic...:)

...his second birthday

so happy celebrating his birthday, with a long distance condition
this was the second celebration with me..

well, cake delivery is my best that I could did, to create small happiness for the birthday boy...

Happy Birthday, my B...:)

Thursday, August 09, 2012 surf stuff currently

I just bought an oven a week ago,
and really passionate into baking and making pastas

potato wedges, maccaroni scootel, and below cake's receipt

lets baking on the weekend

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

...get well soon Grandfather #selfdesperation

Grandfather went to the hospital yesterday
so sad of seeing him sick...
his glucoses decreased up to more than 50 % under minimum standard (40-50 from 80)

thank's got, today he got better...

the pathethic thing is...
realizing, am the only one who responsible for my grany and grandy and my younger brother as well, it's a bit hard...

plan to have overseas abroad...
how could I leave them in the situation like this..?
let say, I achieve it, living abroad and be happy...
what about my grany or grandy needs my help, I wont be there...whereas they need me around...

do I have to burry all my dreams ?
but hey, God always have the best for his people, right?

I always pray for the best...

...about the newborn media

I've been wondering why a small media (especially which newly born) was justify any means to achieve their popularity...

well, people are used to do that...their publish the bad things about a product just because we couldn't fullfill their proposal..

this's embarassing for pathetic...
anyway, I've been learned journalistic in my early semester in college..
well, hey..where's the idealism, where are the journalist who publish the right thing??

those journalist should watch Veronica Guerin Movie! yep..

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

..about being blamed and blame somebody

all the president men

Well, I didnt know how I like this structure...
yes, I always like America and White House Organizational Structure
If America has an objectives to approach people and persuade them through film or movies, then I might claim my self already persuaded by the campaign...
But I admit that their organizational and human resource is really excellent, so they could run the country well. I just bought a book titled "All The President's Men" anyway, but unfortunately i bought the translated one, and it's a bit s*cks...I would never buy translated book anymore...

allright it's just an intermezzo 

I was upset yesterday, I was blamed of something that used to be my jobdesk as Public Relations. Things about complaint and time that I used to need to solve and settled the case...
yes, I admit that I was respond too long, 4 weeks...wew...just because misscommunication and so many visit I should handle during those time.

this's not about the company, but this's about being blamed and blame somebody...
people used to easyly blame any other else, always looking for a scapegoat so they could be stand in the safe position...that's Indonesia...
It's upset being blamed of the problems without any reasonable cause analysis
if you have somebody, let say your boss or somebody important that used to responsible for something, their behaviour about prefer-to-look-for-scapegoats or prefer-to-look-for-the-rootcause could be read by their first respond...

let say you ask him/her : "sir..we've a got a problem, there's leaking pipes in the bathroom and cause flooding
him/her : what?! f*ck!?!?!? who makes them leak??

if your partner answer with those kind of respond, I'll state that he/she's kinda prefer-to-look-for-scapegoats person...bad...this kind of people used to look for 'person' as something to be blamed...

let say you ask him/her : "sir..we've a got a problem, there's leaking pipes in the bathroom and cause flooding
him/her : what's is wrong? lets see the pipe and find out what makes it's leak, meanwhile you find a plumber
if your partner answer with those kind of respond, I'll state that he/she's kinda prefer-to-look-for-the-rootcause, he/she would not mentioned or underlined a 'person' but what 'thing' is goes wrong...

prefer-to-look-for-scapegoats person tend to see things from the surface, not from the's hard to find a root cause, but it would be more effective if you see anything from its cause, it'll easier and effective in finding problem solving.

am confuze of people nowadays are blaming each other for something that used to be responsible by them. Society blame the government for environment broken, this and the other hand, it's a part of each part's responsibility to start from theirselves...and vice versa...

test your partner/boss or anything...

Saturday, June 23, 2012

...about being a mom (part 2)

I always wanted to be a career woman, sit in the crowd of paper and people starring at me, success to fullfill all my family member's need and make them happy...

but anyway, many people have different view about success, some of them might seen from the materials and mine might be peace of mind...

I still have an ambition to get back to school and self actualization...and so do I want to have a wonderfull family, so if that's possible to change my mind...

Now, I wished to have a part time career, probably to be an illustrator and productive in making art stuff..and teach a lot of things to my children in the future...

Practicing english, develop them well, practicing illustration and painting, piano playing...
that sounds good..:)

people could change their mind, so do I...


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

...other coraline

boredom killing..
another Coraline more idea on sleeping babies pictures...

blogwalking at Hot Chocolate and Mint...
then saw many of cute sleeping babies captured on Mila's Daydream
what a creative photo capture
this bring ideas of capturing my future sleeping baby...:*

anyway, another boredom killing dooling
introduce you Forky and Spoony...
I'm in need of more romance lately...hahaha, then thinking of the relationship between Fork and Spoon...
they're created to compliment each other so people could eat well...

Friday, June 08, 2012

...introducing my new baby, COKE FARM

here what we've been done at Coke Farm..
that's nice of having a green house, seeding area...and composting center

Women Community Farming Workshop

chilli harvesting inside the greenhouse

Takakura Composting Process lead by our farmers, it's to process domestic waste

vermi composting process, yes we do process 10% our tea waste into organic compost

tree planting activities

Happy Wedding, My Darls Megan....:)

#randompost on 18th June 2012

Just attended my bestfriend wedding, Muhammad Megantoro Brennaf
so sad of losing one of my won't be his priority again
but Glad of him :)

now I feel alone without him by home...

...yes, another boredom killing time

while done my job too early...
then here they are...
doodling and internet surfing
la la  la la la la la

am back with my doodling...:)

Timi and me with Spray of Happiness...:)

my desk at office now, i though am gonna put all my sketches around the wall, then it would be like a kindgergarten wall full of painting hahahaha...

disturbing my boyfriend while bored, but he still busy anyway...hiiks...

Anyway, I do really want to continue to take my master degree,
now I think, it's good to have like a sewing course or pattern making school,
then hopefully god bless me to be a fashion designer...
who knows, right?!

Thursday, May 10, 2012 life

nu life means :
  1. develop Coke Farm and The Farming Workshop
  2. reinovate my room and home
  3. finding my previous me :)

..getting back home is not always that easy

Well, here I’am now

Trapped in a town called Bandung. Yap, my hometown…I thought I wouldn’t be here anymore (for staying) for the rest of my life, I thought I will jump up higher by going abroad or something. But, unfortunately am back home…

If last year, I really wanted to get back and take my second degree…yes, I told you before in my previous post while I was at ubud, Budha Laughing Bar..That, I really excited to get back to Java Land…and continue my study. Time past by so fast…many things changed in just a few months.

I proposed to move since October, then not approved because of this and that…it was disappointed and a bit frustrated. Then a few months later, they coming back home! It was so easy…except for many things I have done before leave Bali.

Believe me, it’s not that easy by coming home. I mean, I have been leave this hometown since 2,5 years ago and survive independently. Living alone, get along with more friends, learn how to drive well, see different things…it was all amazingly change my mind, grown me up…

I always expect to jump up to the higher place, more far destination with uniqueness and meet the stranger. Sometimes it’s hard, but the challenge was grown me up..That’s exactly the way for me to thankful for all he has been created.. differences’, religion and rights, people habit, cultural things…excitement in the beginning and bored in the middle and excited again…fabulous!

Many complicated problems have occurred since coming back here. Starting from my fight with grandparents…vision…home appliances, interior placing, privacy…Its funny when realize that, actually that is our home, the place where I interact a lot with the family, the place where they (my grandparents) were hold me and the place where I dropped my stuff while my room at dormitory overloaded…the place what I missed while miles away from it.

By staying here, yes I feel so secure, helped by many people and being cared by family, but feels like step behind…

Arguments with the family is annoying.

Well, ya, ok..there will be plus minus…get some loose some

Sunday, March 18, 2012

...wave wave wave...

I though, I've been so creative with my hairstyle, now
actually since 3 years ago,
from smoothing and make it straight...
and wave and now, curly..hahaha

dear, my hair, am so sorry for anything I've been doing to you
I would still take care of treatment 2 times in a month would be enough, right?! :D
I've never been productive anymore since my last post..
since a few months ago, I've been addicted on International Relations and Lifestyle by reading TIMES magazine...such an expensive-enough magazine with just a few pages...but it's worth...

and this new activity helps me much in improving my english, especially to write a better article in a journalistic way...

Well, finally..finally
I would say a billion alhamdulillah, thank you, God..
I finally would be away, move from Bali to..hmm let I share later
this would be a great move, there would be 1 checklist should be achieved this year...

Thank you, Allah
Thank you,Mba Deva for helping me :)

Great opportunity ahead..
should catch moreeee this year and be happy,
I'd be very thankfull for everything I've made lately...


strongly wave, omaygosh...

Saturday, March 03, 2012

...kind of bored

i kind of bored!


Saturday, February 25, 2012

...short one...

well, i cut off my hair a bit short
actually want to make as short as possible but,,,

B said "I prefer a girl with long hair, no matter pretty she is, a girl looks fine with long hair"
then, allright... I just cut about 15 cm long

but that's fine...
am gonna wave it next time :)


Sunday, February 19, 2012

..plan has changed??

Every single person has their own dream, both men and women. The different is…when men and women, both have a very high expectation on their dreams. Men could reach it without any limit, but women has…

This morning, I have got a message, early in the morning…

“Thesa, I would stop dreaming to reach my master plan, am afraid I would end up alone, I’ll start to find someone, and get married”

I suddenly laugh and text her back,

“Hey why you should stop dreaming, it’s ridiculous, what movie you have been seen last night, huh?”

My friend said, “Yesterday employee gathering. If I keep focusing on how to reach my master degree,am afraid there will be too late for me to find somebody”

Well, one by one…my friends, my girl-friend found their limit. Facing that being 20 something is hard, half of them end up married, choose to start to have a kids, some of them succeed married with the eligible one and continue their education to reach master degree, the other stayed and keep dreaming but again, still afraid of being too late to find their live-partner once they achieve their master degree.

I called it’s a limit. Women have so many limits in her life. Choice between…being a wife, a mother and their own dreams, achievement. A lot of women end up choosing their family instead of reach their dreams. I have one girl-friend, she was an activist, actively involved in many kinds of college-organization, critically put good comments on public policy and I still remember how my friends talked that this woman wanted to be a Politian. Time changes, she faced her reality, then being a civil servant, now…married..pregnant and stop commenting, I actually never know, is she still wanted to be a politicians like she said or actively involved to be a public policy maker…but she seems like common people…

I see my face in the mirror, afraid that I would start think like them…
In the other side, I found so many women succeed both to catch her dreams and being a good mom. Let say, Mba Media Communication Manager at Jakarta, then Syela’s Mom then… Evelyn Setiawan-Corporate Communication Agung Sedayu Group, then yap…so many women. They could still got their career, or travelling but be a good woman for their kids.

“Marriage is not the only one happiness in the world”,I said many years ago…

Yes, that’s true, I still keep it now, but with more condition and perception. “Marriage is not the only one happiness in this world, but live worth to be enjoyed with our life-partner, so we could share anything”

I have so many dreams, to get my master’s degree, travelling…I planned to get my masters’s degree before marriage, but if God wants me to married first, then what can I do…

Marriage and family are not the limit for women…that’s why we called as a multitasking person. We could take care of home, being a financial planner, chef and a carrier woman at the same time. I could still go to school while am married, but would be better if I postponed to have a kids…

So many way out, I believe there still plan b, c d e etc…

I would never stop dreaming, I trust that I will get all my dreams, one by one…its ok of being late, instead of stopping and do nothing…

Monday, February 06, 2012

...notes from meeting with him

"Speak Up so You'll be Counted"

-Bico Maxtrada, Ngopdoel, February 4, 2012

then I realized, how I listen to him that much...

thank you, Bi

you're one of my best buddy, now...

Thursday, February 02, 2012

...watercolour sketches :)

anywhere, the last is at home
accompanied by Dave Coz's Song...

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

...meeting the old friends...:)

we cooked more things, sausage, meatballs and chicken :)

so happy to see them has been grew up

Juangga has took Doctor's oath
Erdi still in College, and
Dian still co-ass...and soon to be a doctor

meeting the old friends is like reviewing yourself
did you jump to high or fall too deep

am just so happy meeting them :)
thank you fella's


Sunday, January 29, 2012

...our moments...(narcism part)

my friend, @dhani_bean came by
and have a long holiday in Bali

here are I capture our moments...happiest moment!!!

...current sketches | alotta things

Sketch at La Planca, Seminyak :)

Sketcth Refdi & Fandi at Amed lastweek...

Sketch I Gede Alit Antara, at Dunkin Doughnut Teuku Umar, meeting with Dani's Friend

@indira_syela & @dhani_bean at Ubud

New hairstyle,@sekarara

Pak Senti at Plant, Mengwi

Me & @bicomaxtrada on the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, I love that moment :)

it supposed to be 3rd September 2011 :)

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